Will They Forgive Me?
by tazlvr2001
Summary: written for the Prentiss Mystery Challenge.
1. Chapter 1

**nothing like getting it in at the last minute, right? LOL This is a two parter. The second chapter will be up in a few hours.**

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The weather forecast for that day was dark and dreary with light showers for the entire day. '_Typical weather for a funeral,_' she thought to herself as she watched the scene from the top of the hill. She didn't want to do this. She was a skilled FBI agent. She could take care of herself, but it wasn't herself that she was protecting. She looked on at her friends…no…they were more like her family…as they huddled together and cried over her "grave" that her former bosses at Interpol so graciously supplied her with. It was them that she was protecting.

She thought back to how the latest interactions with Ian Doyle began.

Right after she returned from meeting with Sean McAllister, there was an envelope in her mailbox. She opened the envelope to find several pictures, all of them focused on the team and JJ. That is not what scared her though. The only picture that had her in it also had Jack and Henry. She thought back to the day that the picture was taken. They were all at JJ's house for a barbecue. Henry was just learning how to roll a ball on the floor, and she was sitting in the front yard with the two boys rolling the ball around.

They are just children. She couldn't let them be touched by this evil, especially Jack. That little boy has seen more than enough of his share of evil in the few years that he has been living. To protect them, she had to do it, and when Doyle is found, and she has no doubt that he will be found, she will return to them.

She is just worried about how they will react when they learned that she is still alive. Will they be angry with her for allowing her death to be faked? Will they be excited to see her alive? Will they understand the reasons for why she had to do it?

Her memory again drifted back to when she opened that envelope. She had called Sean right away and told him about the pictures. He informed her that everyone on her former team received the same package of pictures of their closest friends and relatives.

He also told her some sad news that he had just received. John Sanders, one of her former teammates, was shot coming out of his home last week. He survived, but after being released from the hospital, he went back home to his wife and family. Three days later, his wife's car blew up with her and the children inside. A letter was delivered the next day with one simple message. "I couldn't get you, so I chose to get them and let you suffer."

That was what solidified her decision, when the attempt to end her life proved to be unsuccessful.

A few days earlier…

They just returned from a long case at the BAU and all that she was looking forward to was a long, hot and relaxing bath. She pulled into her driveway as her phone rang. Looking at her watch she smiled. It was the same time every night that Sean called in to check on her and make sure that she was alright. He would check if there were any concerns for her safety. She chatted idly with him while she walked into her building and in the elevator and up to the door of her condo. Once inside she remembered that she left a case folder in her car. Cursing at herself for her lack of brain function, she left the condo, all while still talking on the phone and laughing with Sean. As she reached the elevator she heard and felt an explosion come from the hallways - more specifically, her condo.

"Are you alright?" Sean asked.

"Fine. Just bruises," she answered.

"What the hell was that?"

"That was the sound of a bomb going off in my condo."

"Fuck…Doyle," he said angrily. "You have to get out of there. Meet me in the garage."

"What? No. I am not running from him," she argued.

"Remember what happened when he found out John was alive? He killed his family. Do you want that to happen? Think of Jack and Henry. You have to protect them."

"And let everyone think that I am dead?"

"It's the only way to keep them safe," Sean stressed. "When he is caught, you can come back. Please just get out of there and meet me in the garage."

"One condition."

"Are you serious?"

"It's non-negotiable, Sean."

"Alright. What's your condition?"

"When they…when they find out that I am…dead, they are going to want to help with the investigation. You do whatever you have to do to keep them out of it. I don't want them being put at any more risk than they already are. They are the best minds and agents that the FBI has to offer. They will push and the FBI Director himself will push for them to be involved. I need you to promise me, Sean. Promise me that you will keep them out of it."

"I promise. You have my word. Now please, I am in your garage already and I can hear the approaching sirens."

She opened the door to the garage and joined him in the car, climbing into the back seat, hidden by the tinted windows.

That is the exact same seat that she is sitting today as she looks on at her family and friends surrounding her family plot in the cemetery. Tears ran from her eyes as she watched her friends cry over an empty casket. As John drove the car away, with her and Sean in the back seat, she turned to her friends and asked, "Do you think they will be able to forgive me?"

"In time," said Sean.

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**Any thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay I lied, there are a total of three chapters :-) Enjoy**

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Six months have passed.

JJ walked into the conference room of the BAU early one Saturday morning. Without even saying a hello to the group she whined, "Do any of you have a clue as to why I received a phone call from Strauss at 7am requesting me to be here?"

"Your guess is as good as ours," said Rossi.

"We were just discussing what it could be," said Hotch. "She never told me that she was calling you."

"This could be related to why she has been absent from the office so many times this past month," said Reid.

"Think she's retiring?" Garcia asked hopefully.

"She wouldn't have contacted my supervisor to make sure that I came here just to hear that she was retiring," JJ answered. "Do you think it could be about Emily?"

A silence fell over the room as they all thought about their departed colleague. They were still grudges held against Strauss for her orders and demands making sure that they could not be a part of the investigation. They were told that the explosion was the result of a gas leak and that since no foul play was suspected, the case was closed. They didn't believe the reports and tried to do some investigating on their own, but hit dead ends at every attempt in their inquiries.

As they all continued to sit there in silence and in their individual thoughts, no one noticed the group of four people walking towards the conference room. Strauss walked into the room accompanied by two men, while the fourth person stayed outside of the room. "Thank you all for coming in today," said Strauss.

_Before walking into the room, Sean told me to stay out in the hallway until I am ready to confront them. They're going to hate me when they find out I'm alive._

"With all due respect ma'am," said Hotch, "what is the reson for this meeting?"

"And why was I called as well? I have been out of the BAU for a year."

_Oh they got JJ here too! Her and Pen will be so angry with me._

"I am sorry for disrupting your weekend activities, but this matter was too important to push off until Monday. As for your, question," she looked at JJ, "you'll understand in a moment. I'd like to introduce you to Agents Sean McAllister and John Sanders from Interpol."

"Interpol?" asked Rossi. "What's going on Erin?"

_Rossi never missed anything. He knows something's up._

The man introduced to them as McAllister stepped forward. "Two days ago Ian Doyle was shot and killed during the attempt to arrest him. He escaped from a Russian prison seven months ago and traveled around the world seeking out revenge on those that were responsible for him being in that prison."

_Oh God I can't breathe. I'm going to have to reveal myself soon._

"We were finally able to track him down and after the death of three agents, two failed murders and the deaths of one of our agent's family, I can now say that it is all finally over." McAllister looked over to Sanders and nodded. They watched as he left the room and could hear him talking to someone, but could not hear any reply back so they assumed that he was just talking on his phone."

Strauss took over, "Last month I received a phone call from Interpol and was briefed on this case. I was instructed that the case was to remain off of your radar and instead they asked for help from Cooper's team. "

"Why were we kept from the case?" asked Morgan.

_Oh he is definitely going to be pissed at me. I look up into John's eyes pleading with him for the support that I am going to need. He rubs my arms and tells me that it will all be okay. He reminded me that they will be upset at first for not telling them, but that they are smart and will eventually realize that I did this to protect them._

"It was Agent Prentiss' wish for that to happen," McAllister answered.

"Emily?" asked JJ. "This is related to Emily? Are you saying that her death was not an accident and Ian Doyle is responsible for it?"

"Doyle is responsible for the explosion, but not for Agent Prentiss' death."

_Ready or not, I have to face them now._

"Stop speaking in riddles," Morgan said glaring at the agent.

"She's not dead, is she?" Reid asked hopefully.

_Is that hope I hear in his voice? I look to John to see if he heard it the same way. He smiled at me and told me again that it will all be fine. I nodded and took the steps into the room. I walked in with my hands in my pockets. _

"No, Reid. I'm not dead," I said to him with a nervous smile.

The room filled with gasps and then silence. I couldn't bring myself to look at any of them in their eyes. I was afraid of what I might find hidden in them. So, I looked anywhere else that I could. The wall. The table. Strauss. Anywhere, but at my friends that had to deal with the thought of me being dead for the last six months.

Finally, I broke the silence of the room. "I know that you are all confused and angry with me right now. If you'd let me, I'd like to explain the whole story to you and when I am finished, if you do not want anything to do with me, I will understand."

No one supplied her with any objections so she continued. "The BAU was actually my first assignment with the FBI. Everything was forged to make it look like I was in St. Louis and Chicago before Strauss had me transferred here. Only the Bureau Director knew the truth. Before that time, I was an Agent with Interpol. My last case with them involved Ian Doyle. He was the most dangerous man out there. He quickly rose to power controlling some of the members of the Russian government, killing anyone in his way. Our team was brought in on the case and my assignment was to get close to him.

"For months, I played the role of his girlfriend. I pretended to not notice anything going on round us, when in fact, I was noticing and reporting everything to Sean and John. Finally, we had enough information to put him away in prison. To keep up appearances, I was arrested along with him and his men. It wasn't until his trial that the truth was revealed that I was and Interpol Agent. I left Interpol after that case and they helped to get me into the FBI and gave me a new background that even Garcia couldn't find holes in." I made the mistake of looking at them and I could see the pure look of hatred in each of their eyes. I knew it. They hate me.

I pushed forward and continued my explanation. "Seven months ago, I got a call from Sean asking me to meet him. He told me about Doyle's escape from prison and warned m that I was in danger. When I got home from meeting with him, there was an envelope waiting for me at the door to my condo. Inside the envelope were pictures of all of you." I looked up at them again. "There were also pictures of Kevin and Will, my parents and the final picture was of me with Jack and Henry. You need to understand that the time I spent with him so many years ago, I learned his tactics. He pictures were meant as a warning. I called Sean right away and he told me that an attack was made on John's life." I looked over at John and saw his eyes filling with unshed tears. "When Doyle learned that John was safe, he made another attempt, this time he killed his wife and family in a bombing. A note was left saying that if he couldn't have John safe, he would just let him suffer.

"The explosion at my condo was cause by a bomb left by Doyle. It was set on a delay timer to ensure that I would be further into my apartment when it went off. What he didn't count on was me remembering that I left a casefile in my car and I left the condo to retrieve it. I was at the elevator when it went off. Sean happened to be on the phone with me the whole time. Everything happened so fast after that. He picked me up and I told him that I didn't want any of you involved. Doyle knew that Jack and Henry mean a lot to me. That's why he included that specific picture instead of one of them with their parents. I couldn't let anything happen to them or to any of you. I hope that you can one day understand this and maybe forgive me."

I looked hopefully to them, but they didn't show me any signs of what they were feeling. I let out a small sigh. "I've been offered my position here at the BAU, but I will not return if you feel like you cannot trust me enough to work with me. I hope to not lose any of you as friends, but I understand if that is how you feel. I will be staying at my mother's for the next few weeks. If you want to reach me, you'll find me there."

I turned to leave, but an unusually confused voice finally spoke, "Where are you going?"

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	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the last chapter. thanks for reading and reviewing**

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I look into the eyes of the speaker – Hotch, and I can see…confusion? Acceptance? I don't get it. Slowly I answer him, "My mother's. I told you I'd be there." Another sigh escaped my mouth and my shoulders fell. Tears filled my eyes as I looked down at my feet. "Look I know that you are all hurt by my actions and want nothing to do with me, so I'll just save you the trouble of hearing me beg for your forgiveness and leave."

"If you truly feel that way, then I would have to suggest to Strauss and Hotch that you take some courses to bruch up on your profiling skills," said Rossi.

I take a look around the room and see that everyone was smiling at what was just said. "I don't understand."

"What is there to understand?" JJ asked. "There is only truth. After your memorial service your parents talked with us. They told us that you once admitted to them that you felt like we were all more like family to you than they are. They regretted that they never had that relationship with you. You gave that up Em, to make sure that we were all safe."

"I ran away."

"To protect the ones you loved," said Hotch.

"How can you defend me, Hotch? You stayed out in the open and didn't run from the danger."

"From the impression I get of Doyle, Foyet was nowhere near as dangerous as him. If I knew that faking my death would keep Haley alive, I would have done it in a second."

I send Hotch a small smile and then turn to Sean. "I'll give you a call tomorrow," he said to me and I nodded as we share a hug before him and John leave the room.

"I hope that you all enjoy the rest of the weekend," said Strauss. "I expect to see you all back here Monday morning."

Without waiting for my answer, she leaves the room, leaving me alone with the members of my team, my friends. JJ stood from her seat first and came up to me. I don't know what she is going to do so I just hold in my breath as she steps closer. Her arms pull me into a tight hug and that's when I lost all of my composure. I start to cry and I keep yelling at myself internally for crying. I keep trying to stop but it's just not working. "I am so, so sorry," I say again.

JJ pulls out of the hug and grabs my hand as she pulls me to the table, "Sit," she says to me and I follow her order as I sit in an empty chair at the table between her and Garcia. Garcia reaches over and hugs me tightly. I smile at the tight hug. Garcia's hugs were always filled with so much emotion and they always seemed to be what I needed to cheer me up after a tough case.

"Were you injured in the explosion?" Derek asks.

I shake my head, "Nothing too serious. Just some bruises from where I connected with the wall from the force of the blast and a twisted ankle from running down the stairs."

"Where were you for the last six months?" Reid asked.

"Italy. I was helping track down Doyle through Europe. He left the US after my…funeral…and went after some of the members of the team that lived in Italy and France. Last week we found out that Sean was the next member of the team to be targeted. He was hiding out in San Francisco, under the protection of Cooper's team. We got a report of shots fired at the safe house. It was a trap set to lure John there. Doyle wasn't expecting to see me also. He had planned on setting a bomb off once John went into the house to check on Sean. When I arrived at the house, Doyle slipped up and came after me. I didn't even see him. He was coming after me with a knife. That was when I heard the gunshot and heard the buzz of the bullet as it went passed me and into Doyle."

"Rawson," remarked Morgan.

I nod at him, "He has a habit of being in the right place to save my ass. Anyway, they found the bomb and defused it without any trouble. And with a blur, it was all over and they told me I could go home and that's where I am now."

"Welcome home," Hotch said to me and he brandished the rare 'Hotchner smile'.

"So, I take it that you are all okay with me coming back?" I look up at them with pleading eyes.

"I need you to protect me from Morgan's teasing," said Reid. "It has been really bad since you've been gone."

I send a glare to Morgan as he turns to Reid with wide eyes, "You had to rat me out like that?"

"It's too fun to watch you squirm," Reid jokes and we all laugh.

"Em?" I turn to look at JJ. I can see the look in her eyes and I know the question she is going to ask before she even says it. I smile at her and wait for it. "Are you responsible for the call I received this morning? Because, if you are not, then it is just a weird coincidence."

I let out a light chuckle and smile at my friend. "One hundred percent guilty," I answer her with a smile.

"I don't know what to say," JJ said.

"Please tell me you accepted it." I bit my lower lip as I waited for her answer.

"Do you honestly think that I wouldn't?" JJ laughs as the two of us see the confused looks on the others' faces. "Why don't you explain, because I would love to hear how you pulled it off?"

I nod, "Alright. There is a seventh member of our team, Jamie Kelvin. She is the top liaison for the US offices of Interpol. After Doyle's death, she decided that she wanted out of Interpol. I called in some favors and she was offered a liaison's position in the Department of Defense. They had an open spot since once of their liaison's was also being transferred."

I sat there and smiled at them as they all took in the information given to them. Of course, the genius was the first to grasp the meaning of what I said. "JJ?" he asked.

I smile at JJ as she nods and answers, "Effective, Monday, I am back at the BAU for good. All that I need is Hotch's signature on the transfer orders."

"I'll sign them before we leave today," agrees Hotch.

"So the family is all back together," exclaims Garcia.

"One big happy family," I agree as tears flow to my eyes.

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**woo hoo In my version, JJ's back for good. This is how I wish for the story arc to complete. This last chapter turned out a little cheesy, but I couldn't help it. Let me know what you think of it.**


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